This week’s happy by way of intention is a little ghetto fabulous.
Because this dummy up and lost her “official” !!!
Not happy about that (but thank goodness for Photoshop).
Because !!! is my only link to sanity-during these long, inhumanely hot summer days in which rain either keeps us confined to our seemingly haunted house* or eludes us completely that it burns our grass like a California wildfire, kills the one bloody-mother-effing-son-of-I-worked-for-this tomato plant that bloomed, and renders the sun so skin scorchingly hot we smell distinctly like honey baked ham-I got creative.
And, I made myself !!! happy any way.
And, in the process of being all !!! on purpose, I decided that participating in Mama Kat’s weekly Writer’s Workshop would make me even more !!!.
So, by Jove, I did it!
On the Today Show one.
Now, I don’t really watch the Today Show ( yes, there are shows on television that Dumb Mom doesn’t watch).
Not because it’s not entertaining and informative, just because when it’s on I’m busy doing other things like eating bonbons planning how I can to take over the world catching up on work during the few moments of silence I have while The Dudes are still asleep and Dumb Dad is commuting his life away.
It’s my me time.
The booty-butt crack of dawn is my me time. Lucky me!
But, Mama Kat suggested we spend a few hours like she does checking out The Today Show this week in order to get inspired.
I like to be inspired.
It doesn’t happen much.
But when it does…
um, WOW!
Don’t get excited though, I was NOT inspired by the Today Show.
But, I was intrigued enough to click some of the headlines and realize that I live a pretty friggin’ newsworthy life.
Like my life headlines seem to correspond with the celebrity-world-news-headlines.
Not sure if I should really be proud of that fact, but I sorta am:)!
Headline 1: Look at these awkward family pet photos
Now, I don’t have any awkward pet photos featuring real life pets because Dumb Dog entered the Dogs-that-are-psycho-and-try-to-eat-their-families-Relocation-Program, but #3 is convinced he is the proud owner of a “fo weal wife farm hosey” and this is pretty dang awkward if you ask me so thought these would work…
Headline 2: Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston reveal secret engagement
Um, yeah this better not ever happen to me.
Like never-ever-never.
Secret engagements are SO not cool. Because secret means that I don’t know about it. And, if I don’t know about it, then I can’t pre-approve it. And if I can’t pre-approve it, then it CAN NOT HAPPEN.
I will be all mommy matchmaking in this biotch (another Today Show headline I’m living right now). That’s just how I roll.
Think I’m safe as #1 is in the girls-have-cooties-and-play-stupid-face-stupid-girly-stuff phase of his life, #2 has three a steady girlfriend who has been through the rigorous Dumb Mom Girlfriend Material Training Course and squeaked by passed, and #3 is currently courting a much older woman who only agrees to ride on his scooter with him if he agrees to “be the baby” when they play “wedding” (#1 gets to “be the dad” in “wedding” which, as you can see in the background, he does an amazing job at by doing his own thing and ignoring her completely while she struggles with the baby. He’s so much like his father it’s not even funny!).
Headline 3: Carlos Santana proposes to his girlfriend onstage
Reminds me of Dumb Dad and myself.
Only she’s skinnier, and they are richer, and way more popular than the two of us (and maybe I should think about talking to Dumb Dad about beefing up his goatee a bit?!).
But at least I’ve got her in age. YES!
I love being younger than people who are richer, and prettier, and more talented than me.
You know, because the fact that I’m younger makes it cool that I’m also fatter, frumpier, and further in debt.
Riiiight.
Point is, Santana is one of Dumb Dad’s favorite musicians of all time. Like he even has a Santana t-shirt!
And, it’s kinda neat to see that they have joined into a similarly matched interracial relationship (yep, Dumb Dad is Mexican and I’m not).
Headline 4: Alleged ‘Barefoot Bandit’ to face charges in U.S.
I too am the owner of a barefoot bandit.
But, mine is cuter.
And, not quite as criminal.
Although he has been known to pilfer a few of my belongings and SMEAR THEM ALL OVER MY COUCH!
Headline 5: No hiding from this fashion trend: Camo for kids is back
We are so fashion forward at Casa de Dummies it’s not even funny.
Never you mind that these camo shorts are leftovers from when #1 was a similarly sized nearly 3 year old Dude.
Never. You. Mind.
The important thing is that we are IN. Consider The Dudes and I your official link to what’s cool in the fashion-for-people-who-are-cool sphere. And, feel free to look to us for the latest in trendy couture.
Mostly always.
I will admit to having the occasional fashion faux-pas, but all of the best people have them from time to time.
Who’s nasty now, Ms. Jackson?
I haven’t looked that DON’T since like the late 80s’early 90s.
Swear (fully intend to prove it tomorrow on Old School Photo Friday, come link up with me!).
*This Thursday was brought to you by Mama K and !!!. Join them both why don’t you?!
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Your boys are so adorable. Had he been at my house this afternoon he could have said look mom I have cows cause I had a herd of about 20 in my front yard.. Oh yeah I did lol.. then they walked down the driveway and proceeded to take up both sides of this squeaky little 2 lane road.. umm yeah I decided if they were out I was not gonna be lol..
LOL @ the pic of Janet.. she is waaaay hotter now..
Same thing happened last week when we were at Mimi’s house. Only it was goats. 2 lanes filled with goats. #3 said something about going over a troll bridge. That kid has a memory like an elephant!
You did a perfect job on high lighting all the best head lines…especially the camo shorts….my oldest had those, and now the youngest is wearing them! They are cool to be passed down!
I pass down everything. Most stuff doesn’t make it to #3 because #2 is super hard on everything not made out of steel. These shorts were lucky.
Too much fun!
Such a witty post deserves a witty comment, but unfortunately I got nothing! How’s ” I love your pics — your wee ones are adorable!”???
Works for me! Everyone around here knows now I feel about flattery. For some people love is their drug, for me it’s having people say nice things about me. I’m high at the moment thanks to you:)
Those pics of your little one depicting his wanting a fo weal hosey were the bomb. ADORABLE and hilarious.
LOL “the fo weal hosey” stole my heart. He is just too cute.
I have something completely tastless to say about the relations between the “fo weal wife farm hosey” however I’ll hold my tongue and just giggle to myself all day about it.
I’ve also told my Hubs and been beating it into my near 3 year/5month old that I will not tolerate hoochies in my house. Do what you like with said hoochies but if you bring them home I will call them out. My babies will not get caught up in some triffling, no class… you get my drift.
later skater
Oh the blessing and curse of having boys.
Trifling hoochies are not permitted. Nor are skanks, tramp, tricks, or other words for annoying, low class women that come up in hip hop songs.
I loved this whole post … but I REALLY loved “Who’s nasty now, Ms. Jackson?” I laughed so hard I nearly choked, and that would’ve totally been your fault.
Sometimes we have to sacrifice in the name of humor. It’s just a fact my friend. By the way. How’s the puppy thing going for you these days?
Great post! I love that you included many headlines and your son is adorable! You and your hubby are a great looking couple as well.
Stopping by from Mama Kat’s!
Bud and #3 would be the bestest of friends I think. I can picture them playing cowboys and running rough shod over the neighborhood on their “fo weal hosey’s” that you have to pinch the ear to make whinny (stick horse).
Love this post and I used the same prompt, but in a completely different way.
Great take on Mama Kat’s prompt! This was hilarious!! As always, great photos… but then, you know that
Sooo funny! You are sooo clever!
I’m definitely chuckling about the “weal wife farm hoseys” and their slightly compromising positioning. Love your take on the writing prompt – and I’m your newest follower!
Stopping by from Mama Kat’s…
I just love the way that the show is so NOT inspiring you to write. But at the same time all of the stories make you seem so important and up-to-date with the latest stories.
Thanks for sharing,
ok seriously…i LOVE you.
not in a stalkerish way. unless you want me to stalk you because i totally will. only with your permission though because i’d hate to end up on dateline.
yes, your stories are much more interesting than the today show’s. Love the photos.
We’re really big on the camo around here, too. Not so much the skintight bodysuits. And those farm hoseys are hysterical.
LOVED your post!
Made me laugh.. I totally agree about the secret engagements thing too! haha.
Stopped in from Mama Kat’s
That was hilarious! I bet The Today Show wishes they were half as interesting as you’ve made them seem. LOL
Totally cracking my up AGAIN on this Friday morning. Love the fact that you photoshopped the !!! to a couple of pics. LOVE the fact that you found out you are just as, if not MORE, newsworthy than the Today Show. Ha!
as always you make me laugh. Truly laugh out loud and not just lol
I love the photo series of #3 with his “pet”