It’s another edition of Mom Tip Tuesday* in which this Dumb Mom helps you navigate parenthood without losing a limb or your sanity in the process!
This week we are talking about family travel.
I know, right!
It’s summer and everyone’s doing it.
But, exactly how do they do it without going batty?
I really wish I knew.
This summer will be the very first, real life, family of five vacation for this Dumb Family.
I mean we’ve gone on day trips and spent the night at Mimi’s a few times, but never have we packed our little wack-a-dos into the car along with a number of possessions we may or may not need, to head off into the great unknown (aka the beach) for an entire week.
That’s right, friends, this Dumb Family will be taking a Griswold-esque family vacation this summer to the sunny beaches of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
And, this Dummy is scared stiff excited!
Hopefully, by following Dumb Mom’s Guide to Surviving a Road Trip with Your Kids, Your Husband, and Your Bat Mother, we will all come back in one piece!
1. Pack light. The only thing I have on my “List of Things to Get for The Trip” so far is wine. I don’t even drink wine, but I’m guessing I’d better start. Probably bright and early, the morning we climb into the car for the 8+ hours drive we have ahead of us. Not sure why I decided to make our first trip so far from home.
2. BYOB. Nope. It’s not Bring Your Own Beer. We already took care of all of the alcoholic needs of this vacation in number one. BYOB stands for Bring Your Own Bat. Don’t freak. It’s a sweet term of endearment I use to refer to mothers, grandmothers, and other old-ish ladies willing to travel around and care for my children. They are cheap. They are helpful. And, added bonus, they love you and your bratty, demanding, slightly difficult for strangers to tolerate children to pieces.
3. Bribery. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: people respond to bribery. Young people, old people, and everyone in between. When it comes to traveling with The Dudes I’ve made arrangements to bribe a number of ancillary individuals along the way. For example, Mimi has been bribed invited to come along on our first family vacay free of charge. All she has to do is agree to monitor the kids while I take a nap spend some quality time with her rambunctious precious grandchildren while Dumb Dad and I take a night to drop it like it’s hot at the beach clubs enjoy a quiet dinner on the beach. See? Everyone wins when you practice strategic bribery techniques. Mimi gets time with her “babies”, Dumb Mom gets time without them, and they get to survive!
4. Plan ahead. Waaaaay ahead. I began the research and planning of this vacation around Christmas of last year. I got The Dudes involved with selecting a locale that we’d all enjoy, and then I ordered a local guide, filled with exciting photos and info, for us to pour over during the SNOWPacalypse of February. We had our date selected and our beach house booked before the first flowers popped outta the ground to signal spring. This allowed us to a) take advantage of early-bird pricing on choice accommodations b) get everyone on board to ensure that Mimi would be able to accompany us, and c) not have a chance to chicken out once summer hit and the thought of spending 8+ hours in the car with three stir crazy Dudes made me want to throw up a little. The deposit check was cashed months ago so no backing out now. This is going down so I guess I’d better figure out how to make the best of it.
5. Be prepared. The date is set it’s time to get all of my ducks (and by ducks, of course I mean sa-weet products designed to make family vacations AWE-SOME) in a row. I don’t normally host mid week giveaways, but since I am doing a segment about family travel items on TV this morning (go ahead and clap!), today would be the best day to jump off a giveaway!
Check out my special I Know What You Did One DUMB Endless Summer Vacation
Giveaway here or by clicking onto my GIVEAWAYS tab at the top of the page.
*No Linky today peeps. Not that you’d miss it:)!
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Have fun on your vacation! You know I follow.
My travel tip: New toys. Just load up at the dollar store and slowly introduce a new toy every couple hours. Oh, and ear plugs for you and Dumb Dad.
I will attempt to enjoy my vacation and imagine that since Mimi (who is SO not anything at all like a real life bat) will be joining us I actually may be able to do that. Not just b/c she is a bangin’ booty babysitter, but also because she’s my homie:)
We did a road trip to Orlando when Baby Girl was two and half. I packed a bag with “surprises” like coloring books, little toys she could play with, jewelry she could put on and off and on and off and a couple of new DVD’s. We also got one of those portable DVD players so she could watch her movies in the car. That is the only thing that made the trip tolerable.
I will have a complete arsenal of visual entertainment and they’d better friggin’ watch it!
Sounds like your vacation is going to be so much fun. Especially since Mimi will actually help you with your kids. I can’t wait to hear all about it. I’ve always wanted to go to Myrtle Beach, or one of the surrounding ones……
Yep, hoping it will be heavy on fun and light on annoyance. Fingers crossed on the matter!
I took my kids (4 years old and 1 year old at the time) on a trip to Texas. My daughter got a bag of toys I bought just for the flight and about 6 packs of fruit snacks… the chewyness helps with the no crying/screaming/yelling rules I laid out before we left. And my son was just happy with my mom blowing bubbles with her gum. Which she had to do for about 20 minutes. He slept most of the time though. It helped… I didn’t feel like pulling out the oxygen mask at any point during the flight so… win for me.
I like to pull out the oxygen masks just for fun. Even when the kids are sleeping peacefully, a little oxygen sounds like my kind of party!
I’m going to New York with my 5 months old baby and I’ve no idea how will be, because she is a little fussy and is my first time traveling alone with her.
There is no wine in the giveaway.
I would like to see Kmama and raise her a: go to the teacher’s supply, buy educational toys and if people fight in the back seat, tell them quit it or they have to play this @#$% for 30 minutes.
What does Mimi get? Just to see Myrt on your dime? Mimi wants a nice dinner, too.
We have a cooler and trays and at lunch I say “Which sandwich, which chips, which cookie, which drink?” and pass the tray to them. Only one person in the cooler means it doesn’t get nasty and the ice lasts longer.
When they say, “How much longer?”, you say, “30 minutes.” No matter whether you just pulled out the driveway or you are parked in front of the lodgings. I promise…it will work with #1 and #2 –eventually they will figure out it does no good to ask and you didn’t have to have a brain bleed.
Though you know I follow you wherever you go, I do not need an entry in this one as there are certainly moms whose lives will be saved by these products and handy tips.
Cool tips! Very useful. And, I think you are the winner of another one of my giveaways due to reader forfeiture! Will email you for your deets!
Excellent!!! [!!!]
I have said this before and I would like to say it again: you boys are super cool. Check that hat out!
Gosh you are one of a kind brave mom. Now it is summer and we are planing to have a family trip and I will do follow your suggestions and let you know if they are really worked or not lol. Kids on those days are really something else. Thanks for the advice.
Plastic bags… lots and lots of plastic bags. Never know when barf, pee, poo may explode on you. Also, for flying, drinks in bottles or sippies ready or if kids are older, gum or lifesavers for take off to keep ears happy, but WAIT until the plane is rolling down the runway. You don’t want to be stuck on the tarmac and use up all the goodies and then have nothing left when you actually take off!!
I’m a flight attendant and it always bugs me how peeps bring on LARGE SUITCASES for their kids/babies. I know what you’re doing, Mama, and that is NOT the way to pack extra shoes!!
I fly ALL the time (i.e. every few weeks or so) with the monster (14 mo) and I never bring toys. Why? Usually bc I’m a last-minute planner and I forget. But it works out – he’s learned to amuse himself without them!