Well, friends, the day has come.
The day we’ve all been dreading.
Summer vacation (insert screeching, evil, scary movie music here and picture me pulling my hair out and running from my children in terror).
Let me just lay out my beef with summer vacation for you all right now so I don’t have to deal with a butt load of nasty comments about how bad of a mom I am for hating summer break and not wanting to be around my kids.
It’s not just that.
Not at all.
I honestly enjoy summer vacation.
Summer vacation allows me to be the lazy, irresponsible, fun-loving mama I love to be.
No homework, no definitive bed time, no after-school activities, no reason not to have ice cream for dinner!
It’s actually pretty awesome.
It’s just the beginning; like the first two weeks when we are all home, still figuring out whether or not we hate each other our routine, getting in the groove of things, getting accustomed to being together all. Day. Long.
Once we get through that initial adjustment period things are great.
Literally. Great.
And I hate to see the end of summer coming as much, if not more, than The Dudes.
But, how do we survive the first couple of Hellish weeks?
By following Dumb Mom’s Guide to Surviving the Summer: For Kids and the Parents Who Love Them Except at the Start of the Summer When They Sorta Just Don’t.
10 things parents and kids can do to ensure that summer sucks less.
1. Parents: Make a schedule. Not an activity schedule, a go-to-someone-else’s-house- for-a-week-or-more schedule. Between grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other loosely related relatives you should be able to squeak out a few weeks of summer time bliss in which your kids are stinking up someone else’s house. Casa de Dummies can only look to Mimi for summer fun-ventures, but she’ll do!
2. Kids: Get a hobby. And make it a quiet one. One that doesn’t involve running, jumping, screaming, yelling, being wet, being outside, or money would be best. Here are some good examples: reading, writing letters, coloring, drawing, cleaning bathrooms, building with Legos, eating, dusting furniture, doing manicures, and learning a second language by watching Plaza Sesamo on PBS.
3. Parents: Join a gym. They have babysitting.
4. Kids: Volunteer. To watch your younger siblings. Not old enough to do that yet? Then consider volunteering to do some yard work, to clean up your room, or to simply make yourself scarce for a few hours in the afternoon so mommy can blog check her email watch Oprah get some work done.
5. Parents: Hire help. All of the high schoolers are out for the summer too! Fourteen year olds work for cheap so find one and make her yours.
6. Parents: Swap with a friend. Can’t afford the low cost care of a largely unskilled high schooler? Can’t make your younger brother into your indentured servant by giving him a place to stay this summer? Try swapping duties with a friend. Undoubtedly, it will suck badly on your day to add your friend’s kids to the fray of your own, but it will be SO worth it on your day away.
7. Kids: Make a truce. Agree not to fight amongst yourselves for at least 2 weeks. Before you know it you will all be getting along and no one will have to get beat senseless spend time in the naughty chair. It’s a win-win from what I can see.
8. Parents: Get away. Alone. Not an option? Fine. Take the kids with you. A change of scenery might do everyone some good and, at the very least, you can drag them to the beach and they can fight there while you enjoy a book on the sand.
9. Kids: Stay healthy. For some reason summer colds suck worse than winter colds and if you get one then mommy might get one too. That would really ruin the summer. So, wash your hands, stop sucking your thumb, and if you are gonna act all grubby and gross then keep your grubby-grossness to yourself. That means stop touching my mouth, wiping your nose on my knees, and licking my face.
10. Parents: Relax. It’s mostly unheard of and nearly impossible, but it’s what I’m planning to do. Well, it’s what I’m planning to try to do at least. Otherwise I’m certain I’ll be bald, deaf, and possibly dead within the next two weeks.
That’s right readers. Dumb Mom can help you turn a summer like this…
Into a summer like this…
How are you keeping your sanity this summer?
Feel free to use this weeks’ Mom Tip Tuesday Linky to share your summer fun tips, tricks, recipes, and advice. I’d love to hear what you guys do to make it through the school free days.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Liquor!
But really, we’re working on a routine. And buying pool passes. I just hope they don’t kill each other before they can adjust to being around each other all day!
I still have two weeks before I have to stare into the eyes of summer, but I’m scared. Tiny evil one is extra nasty this year. She’s really developing that “donkey on the edge” personality that I just don’t think I like. We were hoping to dump kids on grandparents, but they are 1500 miles away. We initially said we were going to go for a visit this summer, but since the above-mentioned terror of a two-year-old has been honing her skills, I don’t want to ride in the car with her to Target, let alone ride locked in a van/airplane with her for 29/4 hours. Anything longer than 20 minutes is pushing it.
We are into week 3 and my advice is: VBS. Lots of churches around, most are free or cheap. They are getting a spiritual education and you are getting a break.
Also for survival: lemonade with sweet tea vodka.
oh lady, i’m 2 weeks deep into summer vacation and its day by day survival over here. my tip….caffeine. and lots of it!
I’m so glad I work. I ship my kids off and the daycare handles all of those fun activities.
I like Evonne’s answer about liquor. LOL Sign me up! LOL
SUCH a perfect list. I especially love this one:
3. Parents: Join a gym. They have babysitting.
What I don’t like it how freaking HOT the gym is during the summer.
This is a great list!! I seriously live at my gym/club purely for the daycare center. Sometimes I just go shower or sit and have coffee instead of working out.
I am so looking forward to summer vaca. But then, I work and it’s my dear husband’s problem (bwaa haaa haaa)… I am going to try the liquor anyway and see how it goes.
Also, what is with the kids licking the face?? Seriously!!
I am staying sane by taking the child to BBQs, hangin with friends, while the maniac runs around and terrorizes everything in site!
well we’ve got swim lessons, softball games, softball camp, and sleepaway camp on the schedule, plus a membership to the children’s museum and a vehicle with gas, and lots of new places to explore within a 3 hour radius…..
LOL! I am totally gonna bookmark this for when my kids are school age!
LOL you are so funny! However, I do plan on taking your advice. My little ones are 2 and 5 so I just starting on the summer trips of nothing LOL. I wonder how this summer is going to be
I love the pictures at the end. Our summer is turning out pretty well. There have been a couple times this summer that I realized it had been more than a week since I had left the house without the kids. As much as I hate to see summer end it will be nice to get back into our regular routine, that is until all the kids activities start up again, then I’m screwed!