RanDumb: Richard Rodgers Theater Edition

I’m BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Don’t get over excited, I don’t clean up messes!

I’m not going to share all of the most awesome elements of my trip, because, well, because I’m just not!

Besides, today is Friday and Friday just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t do a RanDumb post.

So, readers who completely deserted me this week and didn’t make my lovely guest posters feel welcome by leaving them comments, prepare your mind for the return of the AWESOME (aka leave comments or I am gonna hunt you down and do bad things to you that you will probably enjoy even though you won’t want to admit it cry like a schoolgirl) with a RanDumb post about NYC.

Dumb Mom’s Guide to NYC

1.  Take a bus.  NYC is a big place.  You, like me, may not realize that because of the fact that it’s an island.  And, it’s really not all that big land wise; it’s only 305 square miles (thankyouverymuch Wikipedia).  But, what it lacks in area it makes up for in human and landmark density.  It feels like a supersized place because there is a butt load of things to do and a butt load of people waiting to do them.  Plus, if you are a cheapskate trying to work off the Junior’s cheesecake you ate for lunch and dinner naive wanting to enjoy the sights and sounds of the city up close and personal, you may decide to walk around NYC.  MISTAKE.  At least for the novice long distance walker like myself it was.  My ankles/thighs/hips/butt/pretty much every muscle in my body hurt like a MOFO.  There is no reason that a person should walk, in the ca-ute-est effing boots on the planet I might add, from Central Park to the Empire State building at least 5 times in one day.  They have various modes of transportation there and all of them work extremely well.  Besides, when the horsey riding cop recognizes you as the RanDumb chick who keeps walking by, you start to look suspicious.  And, if there is one thing you don’t want to be these days in NYC, it’s the suspicious person.

2.  Get some tkts.  To a show.  Like In the Heights which is playing at the Richard Rogers Theater. 

Seriously, just on a tangent, this is the BEST Broadway show I have ever seen ever, and I’m not just saying that because it is the first Broadway show I’ve ever seen ever.  Well, I probably am, but still, I’m not the only one who thinks so because it won all sorts of awards from people who know what they’re talking about.  So you should go.  And, if you go now you can see Corbin Bleu (and William from SYTYCD) as the lead character.  And I know that if you’ve seen HS Musical you are probably thinking you wanna miss this casting of the show because Corbin Bleu is a corny goob and nobody wants to watch him dance that doofy looking smile around onstage, but I’m telling you, that dude ROCKED it.  Seriously.  He tore it up!  He was all Disney and he even said SHIT!  I was very pleased with his performance and would go see it again in a heartbeat.  But, back to my original point.  If you are gonna see a show, any show, you should checkout the big red booth that says tkts right in the center Times Square.  They are operated by the Theater Development Fund and they have same day tickets for pretty much everything worth seeing, and they are CHEAP (like 50% off!), and the seats are all pretty decent.  No need to buy the RanDumb, behind two pillars and a curtain, seats from the shady homeboy with the stonewashed jeans and the mesh tank top on.

3.  Get a map.  NYC is pretty simple to navigate if you take a minute to figure out how it works.  If not you are the RanDumb chick in #1.

4.  Smile.  Contrary to popular belief all NYers are not mean, d-bags.  I had like three people do super friendly stuff for me and I’m convinced it’s because I’m a smiler (which probably made me look like a lost out-of-towner in desperate need of assistance before being abducted and left in Central Park).  I NEVER stop smiling.  Even when it’s inappropriate to be smiling, there I am, doing it involuntarily and wishing I could stop.  Yep, I’m the RanDumb chick standing there smiling like a freak while being held at gunpoint by a masked man at the bank (no, that did NOT happen, but if it did I’m pretty sure I’d be caught cheesing on the surveillance tape).  That’s annoying.  But, it does come in handy from time to time because I think it catches people off guard and makes them a)like me, or b)feel sorry for me.  Either way it leads to me getting help from people who would normally just sweep the leg.  Try it.  I’m telling you it worked like a charm on the NYers.

5.  Take Money.  NYC really is THAT expensive.  Even RanDumb stuff like tap water and napkins must be expensive because people are all stingy with them and you sorta have to beg for them.  Besides you might go to Macy’s and fall in love with a purse and be all sad when you can’t buy it because you have to save your $400 for souvenirs for your kids.

6.  Be adventurous.  We (and by me I mostly just mean Dumb Dad) are not the most adventurous travelers, particularly not when The Dudes are tagging along.  But, I urge you to step out of your normal bacon-cheeseburger-and-fries-please comfort zones if you visit an eclectic, diverse city like NY.  There are just so many options waiting to be discovered.  Dumb Dad and I went to Havana Central…

it was part of our Latin themed night (we went there before we saw In the Heights) and it was a-friggin’-mazing!  We are not huge eaters of Cuban food (Mexican food is actually quite different); actually I’m not sure I’ve ever even really had any, and this was a delicious first time.  Sadly we didn’t have time to be adventurous in any other way, but maybe next time?!  We can do something RanDumb like climb the 350 bazillion stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty!  Yeahright.

Okay, that’s all I got. 

It was a 3 day trip; not enough time to learn 10 things!

Come back tomorrow to check out my first Da Earth is the Shiz giveaway for Earth week.  It’s pretty cool!

Now go ahead and comment because I missed you mofos!